Winning the Homework Battle - for Boys

At the start of each school year, I resolve to instill good homework habits in my children. By the time Halloween arrives, homework time resembles a battle more than an educational success. I lecture, cajole, threaten, bribe, and complain while the children drag out their homework so 20 minutes of "work" takes almost 2 hours to complete. By the time it's over, I'm cranky and they are annoyed and uncooperative.

My 9 year old son is a master at extending the time it takes to complete homework. He considers each question thoughtfully and looks at a wall or a window for inspiration. Two minutes later his brain drifts off on a random thought and the problem remains incomplete. Ten minutes later, I realize he is daydreaming and remind him that he needs to "focus" and get his work done so he can go play. He re-reads the problem and slowly begins to write an answer. The end result? A 5-minute worksheet takes 30 mintues to complete, at which point I'm grinding my teeth in frustration.

Learning 20 spelling words presents a huge challenge. He will resist memorizing them until the day before the test and then get C's and D's because he doesn't remember how to spell the words. As a voracious reader and lover of words, I find this behavior especially frustrating. He can't go to school every day with incomplete homework, plus he needs to spend more time learning the assigned vocabulary. Consequently, I get stuck in the role of "nag" in an attempt to get him to finish the work and learn the words.

After consulting the school counselor, my girlfriends, and parenting books, I have tried every motivational tactic suggested. Nothing works. He is indifferent to any "carrot" I offer and unfazed by the "sticks" I use. Having a sweet-spirited, happy-go-lucky boy is a homework nightmare!

Recently, I believe we have finally found a motivational "carrot" for my son. He really likes the on-line multiplayer game LEGO UNIVERSE. I said he could earn playing time by learning his spelling words. One minute per word for the first 10 words he spells correctly, and two minutes for each additional word. Therefore, learning a 20 word list nets him 30 minutes of playing time, and there is an incentive to learn all the words, since the last 10 are worth twice as much as the first 10. Each day he must spell the words on the weekly wordlist in order to earn time on Lego Universe. If he lingers over his other homework, he doesn't have enough time left before dinner to play, the minutes are lost and he has to wait until the next day to re-earn playing time.

I'm happy to say, it's working. I have not had to nag about spelling or any other homework for two weeks. Hallelujah!

Now, I have to find a motivational "carrot" for my 11 year-old daughter...which has thus far eluded me. I'm open to suggestions!
Susan

Take the Greed Out of Christmas

After watching a young child display excessive greed while opening his presents, asking over and over again, "What else?" I resolved to instill a sense of gratitude in my own children.

As they enter their pre-teen and teen years, I think my two children have a respect for the generosity of gift-givers and an appreciation for the gifts they receive. One way my husband and I have encouraged a positive attitude toward the largess of Christmas gifts is by adopting St. Nicholas Day traditions in our home.

In European countries, St Nicholas Day is celebrated on Dec 6 when children wake up to gifts of chocolate, oranges and other treats tucked into their shoes. In our house, we fill the shoes with sweets and also fill Christmas stockings with pajamas, Christmas-themed dvds, music, games, and paper products like journals and thank you notes. Everyone, even the the dog, gets a shoe and stocking full of treats and special goodies. It feels like the holiday and Christmas spirit has arrived early! We also take the opportunity to remind the children that St Nicholas was a real person and he was known for his generous gifts, given anonymously, to people who really need them. We talk about the need to give during the holidays, and emphasize having a spirit of gratitude for the gifts you receive.

Hope our experience gives you ideas for your family to take the greed out of Christmas!

More about St. Nicholas and related family activities at: http://www.stnicholascenter.org/